Word association game - GOP primary edition



Photo: Aikenstandard.com

Instead of wasting time writing a detailed analysis of where today's GOP contenders stand, I've opted to go the simple route. A variation on word association. Why not? Since this is the most intellectually-challenged group of presidential nominees I've ever seen in my life, it's best to keep it simple. So here we go!

Mitt Romney: Can't buy me love
Newt Gingrich: Icarus
Rick Perry: Second coming of Dubya
Michele Bachmann: Delusional
Herman Cain: Not ready for prime time
Jon Huntsman: Better luck next time
Ron Paul: Still no chance
Rick Santorum: Yah right!
Buddy Roemer: Error message
Gary Johnson: File not found



Who really chooses our presidential candidates?



Image: Adam

Former Bush political strategist Matthew Dowd brings up a question many of us have been asking for a long time - why are certain qualified presidential candidates excluded from the debates [former Republican governors Buddy Roemer (LA) and Gary Johnson (NM)] and given far less time in them when they (Ron Paul) clearly have just as much of a shot or better than some of those who are there? Establishment parrots always say Ron Paul doesn't have a shot at the nomination. How would they know? They've never given voters a chance to make that decision. Paul's poll numbers have been high and he has a larger following than Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Herman Cain and Jon Huntsman combined. His fundraising ability also leaves theirs (collectively) in the dust.
The only sensible answer is that some candidates are acceptable to the establishment and some are not. And big media does its best to serve those interests. So, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If the system wasn't rigged in this way, Paul would get as much air time in debates as Mitt Romney, Roemer and Johnson would be included in the debates and it would be left up to the voters to decide who's viable and who isn't.
The way it is, it's no wonder so many people don't trust big media. Why should they? It can't even come up with a plausible excuse as to why it ignores candidates who might actually just steal the show. When it comes to experience in governing, independence and common sense, Paul, Roemer and Johnson are all head and shoulders above the current crop of candidates (Huntsman excluded). But then, that's probably what makes them so unacceptable to the powers-that-be.

Image source

Mitt Romney: the Bob Dole of 2012?



Canadian Press Images

Reading Steve Kornacki's piece "The GOP and electoral suicide" at Salon.com I got to thinking, the race for the 2012 Republican nomination is the strangest, most fluid nominating contest I've ever followed (going back to the early '90's). Analytical skill and instinct be damned, there is just no predicting who will win it. Or is there?
Rachel Maddow (one of the most brilliant minds in politics & media today), predicts with certainty Mitt Romney will take it. She's the one with the doctorate and a staff of researchers, so maybe she's right; but I'm not convinced. She may be failing to grasp the depth and intensity of GOPers distrust and dislike of Romney.
Once the good 'ol boy party poo bahs decide to get behind one candidate (which I believe will be Rick Perry), the pretenders (Newt Gingrich, Herman Cain, Rick Santorum, Michele Bachmann) will fade and the race will end somewhere between South Carolina and Florida. It's worth noting that in 2008 Romney couldn't buy the race. He tried mightily but got shellacked in Iowa by cash-strapped insurgent Gov. Mike Huckabee. Talk about embarrassing. Then he got beat by a weak John McCain in New Hampshire and SC (where he didn't have a prayer).
In Romney I see Groundhog Day. Why would voters be any more inclined to support him now than they did in 2008? His elitism and Olympic-level flip-floppery is even more evident now than it was then. If there's one thing voters from across the political spectrum agree on, it's having a general disgust for politicians with no moral core. Romney's campaign slogan might as well be I'll Tell You Whatever You Want to Hear!
If the GOP establishment does get behind Romney, he will most likely go down in history as the Bob Dole of 2012 (a mere sacrificial lamb). The meaning? They'll be done with him once and for all; and are already focusing on real presidential aspirants for 2016.
But like I said before, who knows. This race and political climate is unlike any other in modern times. If Maddow winds up being right and Romney becomes the GOP nominee, I will bow down before her brilliance and courage in making this early call. If my instinct is right and Perry wins his party's backing, she should hire me.

Monday morning musings

Live press conference with President Obama.

In the latest issue of Newsweek, Sarah Palin boldly claims she can beat President Obama in the 2012 election. If she runs. According to daughter Bristol, the decision has already been made; but the former governor is currently having too much fun messing with every one's heads to jump into the race right now. Priorities, people.

The New York Times' brilliant and cranky economist Paul Krugman blasts the Beltway blabbermouths for being totally wrong on why our economy's been stuck in the ditch for the last year and a half.

Talks between the president and House Speaker John Boehner to secure a deal on the debt-limit have fallen apart. Big surprise. It's next to impossible to work with moral and intellectual zeroes like House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R.-Va.) and his TeaTard contingent. The grown-ups can't get anything done with them throwing their hissy fits on behalf of the nation's poor & needy wealthiest citizens.

Old GOP ally "B-1" Bob Dornan blasts Newt Gingrich

Holy cow! Who knew former fire breathing conservative congressman Bob "B-1" Dornan was still alive?! He recently got The Daily Beast's Bryan Curtis on the horn to blast his former House colleague, Newt Gingrich over his bid for the 2012 GOP nomination. "B-1" absolutely can't stand the guy and is chomping at the bit to confront yell him at the next GOP debate. That should be fun!

Here's a little taste from Curtis's article:

Bob’s argument is that Newt is a pseudo-intellectual gasbag, a moral basket case, and a political performance artist whose campaign is less a bid for the White House than a marketing blitz to pump up “Gingrich Inc.” When I call him back, Bob says he wants to do the nation a service. “I want to get this man the hell out of America’s hair!” he roars.

A pseudo-intellectual gasbag and moral basket case... Yah, that's about right.

Michele Bachmann announces bid for 2012 GOP nomination

Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, the self-styled leader of the Tea Party Caucus, formally announced her bid for the 2012 GOP nomination today. In honor of her big day, Huffington Post put together a wonderful little compilation of Bachmann's most memorable public moments and quotes. Folks, there's never a dull moment with this one!

Kimmel spoofs Jon Hunstman campaign ad

It's official! Jon Huntsman, the former Utah Governor and Ambassador to China is running for the 2012 GOP nomination. Please try and contain your excitement. In this clip, Jimmy Kimmel has some fun pointing out the weirdness of the candidate and this ad. Apparently, it's a Republican virtue to not take your wife to that fancy restaurant she's been dying to go to.

Rick Santorum wants to be your culture warrior-in-chief

AP photo

Former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum was thrown out of office in 2006 for being an ignorant douche. Apparently he hasn't learned anything in the interim, well, except for the fact that he's got a serious Google problem. That alone would make most of us run like hell from the media. But not this guy! He misses the spotlight so much he's running for the 2012 GOP nomination. Did you know that? If you said no, it's okay. You're not alone. The few people who do know it couldn't care less.

The day after GOP honcho Haley Barbour spoke on the need to get past purity tests at the Faith & Freedom Coalition conference in Washington, Santorum showed up to explain the opposite. He was blabbing on about taking bullets for Jesus or something. Yada yada yada.
The Magic 8-Ball has some advice for Santorum. You better super glue your rhetorical bullet-proof vest to your body. When the primary season gets into full swing, reminders (bullets?) of your inauspicious past are gonna be sprayed at you, fully-automatic, from all sides. If your "campaign" makes it past Iowa, it'll be a true miracle. We, here at the Cafe, won't be holding our breath, though.

Jon Huntsman hearts socialized medicine?

If former Utah governor Jon Huntsman actually does run for the GOP nomination, he's going to have some 'splainin to do with wing nut primary voters. Apparently, as governor he got all Socialist and pulled a RomneyObama on Utah.

Reporter Jason Cherkis at Huffington Post writes, "On March 19, 2008, he signed into law health care reform legislation that included a requirement that the state study 'the costs and benefits associated with (a) different forms of mandates for individual responsibility; and (b) potential enforcement mechanisms for individual responsibility.'"

The funniest part of this whole anti-Obama health care thing is, it was basically a Republican/Heritage Foundation idea to begin with. Even President Dick Nixon wanted universal health care! But then President Barack Obama had to go start pushing it, which turned it into a Commie plot.

None of this historical reality matters, though. In Tea Party land and among "real Amurkans," facts and history are for bitches and whiners.

Huntsman, who was also a former Ambassador to China for the Obama administration, is just way too reasonable and, dare I say, decent for red meat Republican primary voters. To them, reasonable means RINO (Republican In Name Only) and traitor.

The Magic 8-Ball indicates Mr. Huntsman should save his time, money and respectability by letting the losers duke it out for the chance to get their ass whipped by Obama.

Huntsman has served this country well and doesn't need to stain his reputation by running (i.e. saying stupid, dishonest things he doesn't believe in just to win over delusional wing nut voters). He seems better than that.

Here's hoping Huntsman comes to his senses and decides against running, at least until 2016. At that point, he becomes a much stronger, better-known candidate.

GOP to Newt: Suck it!

Perennial presidential wanna-be Newt Gingrich finally had a good (meaning gaffe-free) week. Unfortunately for him, it was followed by a new survey released by Public Policy Polling revealing what many of us already know: He is very unpopular even within his own party.
The poll shows 38 percent support for Gingrich among Republicans; while 45 percent view him unfavorably. That's no small number. (Among Democrats, he is viewed unfavorable by 80 percent.) Even Sarah Palin, who fled office after only two and a half years into her governorship, scored higher than the former Speaker of the House with 55-37, respectively.
The combination of past and recent bad press and negative polling numbers beg the question, what makes Gingrich think he has any chance of winning the Republican nomination - sheer ego the size of Mt. Rushmore?
I'm no expert in statistics, but the Magic 8-Ball never lies. Gingrich stands about the same chance of winning the nomination as he does in winning the gazillion dollar lottery. One would have to be a complete fool to run on those odds.

Desperation city

According to a CNN/Research survey of Republican voters, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani edges out former governors Mitt Romney and Sarah Palin for the top spot in a hypothetical 2012 matchup. Giuliani received 16 percent support to Romney's 15 percent and Palin's 13 percent.

AP Photo

Of course, this is but one survey. But the results are head scratching. How so? Let's jump into the Wayback Machine and return to the run-up to the 2008 GOP primaries. Giuliani, still milking his glorious 9-11 wave of  popularity for what it was worth enjoyed some of the highest poll numbers of the pack, thanks to the breathless Beltway press hyping him incessantly. According to the Chatteratti, his expertise in national security made him the candidate to beat.
Giuliani's campaign got off to a rocky start. There were many questions about his sordid personal life and his current wife's past. He also failed miserably to connect with voters on the trail. This must've been all too apparent to his staff because they proceeded to run the most bizarre primary strategy known to mankind: blow off the early primary states and take it all in Florida. Yah, that turned out real well. His campaign flamed out famously before it ever began.
The point to this post is simple. There is such a horrible void in the Republican field today, voters are still thrashing around, looking for "the one." I can all but guarantee to those who took this poll and other like-minded voters, Rudy Giuliani is not going to be the next Republican nominee. Granted, there is no candidate in the current GOP crop who can claim to be the 'national security guy'. Perhaps that could give "America's Mayor" a new footing, but I highly doubt it.
The Magic 8-Ball says Giuliani would be a fool to waste his time and money on such a ridiculous quest. Here's hoping his ego doesn't get the best of him.

Prof. Steffen Schmidt breaks down the 2012 race

Forget the MSM pundits. This guy knows his shiz when it comes to breaking down the race for 2012. Yes, he's a bit dorky - like those folks on PBS or at NPR; but like them, he's definitely worth listening to.
Cheers!

Herman Cain bombs on Fox News Sunday

After his first major television interview Sunday, Herman Cain, former Godfather's Pizza CEO and Republican presidential aspirant joined Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum in the Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time Club.
Cain appeared on Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace and stumbled when the discussion turned to Israel. When asked where he stood on the right of return, Cain gave a Palinesque pause and answer betraying his lack of knowledge on the issue. Beyond the Israeli/Palestinian issue, he also confessed to not knowing what to do about Afghanistan.
Cain quickly put out a video walking back the statements he made on FNS.
It's hard to see the GOP establishment getting behind such a novice.

(Photo: AP)

Tim "The Buick" Pawlenty officially enters 2012 GOP race

It's official. Former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty has declared his candidacy for the 2012 GOP nomination in a YouTube video! Unfortunately for "T-Paw," his super exciting announcement was met with a collective yawn.
On the bright side, GOP gray beards can relax knowing there is, for certain, a serious candidate to back not named Mitt Romney.
Pawlenty is already preempting fears that he cannot compete with Romney in the money race by calling his campaign a Buick, or something. Reliable... Apparently, Romney is the Mercedes of campaigners.

(Photo: Jim Mone, AP)

Today's the day!

Hello and happy Saturday! It's a gorgeous day in Charlotte and so far, the rapture hasn't happened - as that crazy guy's been predicting. Seven more hours and we're out of the woods! He is actually the final straw in what prompted me to fire up my 'ol blog END OF THE WORLD CAFE and start posting again. I've been meaning to get back to it for some time. I figured today, with the rapture happening and all, the timing was perfect! So here's to dusting off the magic 8 ball just in time to cover the 2012 presidential election. It promises to be highlarious. I'll be posting on other topics, too. Pretty much whatever fires me up!